I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
