I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
