im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
