You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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