Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
