shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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