so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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