Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
