We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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