i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
