I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he's gonorrhea incarnate
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
