I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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