Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
