My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
