i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Randomize
