we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
