Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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