After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
