there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
