Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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