I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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