I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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