Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
