With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
