he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
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