Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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