he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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