This house was built for laser tag.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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