Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
