why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
