he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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