I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
