You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
