oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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