And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
