Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This is my gift to your gina
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
