if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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