You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Houston, we have a squirter
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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