you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
