dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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