he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
