I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Randomize
