The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
