I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
