So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
