I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think my vagina is haunted
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
