He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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