hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
