How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
