I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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