you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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