ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
