i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
