We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Text me some of your sweat
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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