Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
