I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize