Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
