I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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