I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
