I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
