rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
