oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
