The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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