so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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